Over the years, the person you thought you married may have fallen away. What you are left with is a person who refuses to take responsibility for his or her actions and blames everyone else for his or her failings. Your spouse may lack empathy and blame you for everything that goes wrong -- even, or especially, if it wasn't your fault.
Is yours a divorce where it became clear early on in the process that the other adult involved was not going to make things easy for you? Like most good parents in California, you really just wanted to work out a fair and agreeable parenting plan, then allow the rest of the divorce process to unfold as swiftly and amicably as possible. You assumed your former spouse also had your children's best interests at heart, that is, until he or she started to try to alienate them from you.
After being married for decades, you may have felt that you understood your life's and your relationship's ups and downs. Over time, you may have simply accepted annoyances or unhealthy habits that manifested in your marriage and continued to show themselves often. Even though you no longer felt happy, you had gotten used to the arrangement.
As a parent, you understand that a divorce affects more than just your relationship with your soon-to-be ex -- it also affects your children. Most parents work to make this process as easy as possible for their children by limiting conflict when they are around and ensuring that they still have ready access to both of their parents.
Parenting through a divorce is seldom easy. No matter the ages of your children, you are likely to see signs of confusion, temper and emotions that are uncharacteristic. As difficult as it may be to deal with, you know it is understandable. After all, you may be feeling these sentiments yourself from time to time.
For the most part, the days of primary custody going to one parent, with visitation for the other, are gone. Courts here in California and elsewhere now favor a joint custody arrangement since, in most cases, the best interests of the children require significant contact with both parents.
You may be one of many California business owners whose end-of-summer schedule this year includes divorce proceedings. Perhaps you never saw it coming, or maybe you recognized signs that your marriage would end a long time ago. Either way, whether a particular event brought about the end or small things turned into big things over time, if your spouse is a co-owner and partner in your business, you may have a few difficult decisions to make.
When you divorced, you may have done what many other California parents do; that is, you may have gathered your children to inform them of your decision and invite discussion regarding their feelings about the topic. Divorce is seldom easy and you yourself may understand the absolute roller coaster of emotions that often accompanies the process; so, it may have come as no surprise to you that your children were somewhat struggling.
California is one of only a handful of states that assumes you and your spouse own all property jointly in the event of a divorce. If you and your spouse rely on the courts to divide your property, this is the point from which the division begins. In addition, if you have children, the court can only do so much, which means that any child custody order may not conform to the unique needs of your family.
Mediation is one of the more popular alternative dispute resolutions used by divorcing couples, it’s cheaper, quicker and a more collaborative process than litigation. With mediation, you get to decide the terms of your divorce and what works best for everyone involved. While mediation can be a great alternative, it doesn’t work for everyone. Even couples who are willing to talk it out may find that mediation can be counter-productive.