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Child Custody & Parenting Plans

Is Your Ex Trying to Alienate You from Your Children?

When you decided to file for divorce in a California court, you knew that you and your spouse would have to work through a few issues before you could achieve a fair and agreeable settlement. Especially in matters concerning your children, you were really hoping there could be amicable negotiation between you for the kids' sake. However, early on, you realized that it was not to be.

Your spouse's threats to sue for custody and make sure your kids want nothing to do with you let you know you were in for a battle. You were glad when the court granted you custody, and for a while, things were going okay. Lately, however, you suspect your ex is trying to drive a rift between you and your children. Others in California have experienced this type of parental alienation. Like them, you can bring the matter to the court's attention to rectify the problem.

Red flag signals that you are being alienated

If your kids are less cooperative and seem to be angry at you whenever they return from spending time with their other parent, it may be a sign of a parental alienation scheme. Parents who want to drive wedges between their kids and their co-parents will often criticize their exes and plant seeds of anger in their children's hearts. In short, the goal is to make the other parent look bad. 

Subliminal influence

Even if your spouse isn't coming right out and badmouthing you to your kids, if parental alienation is the goal, the method may simply be to allow your children to overhear negative remarks about you.

Too much information

Another means to alienate kids from a parent is to fill their heads with details regarding marital problems and divorce. Children are not typically mature enough to carry such burdens. If you think your ex is sharing too many adult issues with your kids about your co-parenting relationship or your former marriage, you can call him or her out on it.

False allegations

If your spouse wants to turn others against you, like the court, for instance, you may find yourself facing false accusations of substance abuse, physical abuse or allegations that you have disobeyed a court order. The best way to counteract such attacks is to be prepared to show the court that they have no merit.

Getting help

Children are not equipped to resolve adult conflicts. Your kids may think the best thing they can do to stop you and your ex from fighting is to choose sides. They may also be under the influence of falsehoods that one parent is telling them. Parental alienation is a serious issue that can have far-reaching consequences, which is why there are legal options at the ready for you to resolve such problems in court.