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Child Custody & Parenting Plans

Would You Do Anything to Make the Divorce Easier on the Kids?

If so, then you join numerous California parents who want to make sure that their children's lives don't end up turned upside down because you and the other parent no longer want to remain together. Sometimes, relationships just don't work out. You may consider your future ex-spouse a friend, but you want to move on with your life.

Even if you aren't quite friends, you may have a good enough relationship to take some extreme measures in order to reduce the impact of the divorce on the children you share. Perhaps you would even consider an unorthodox child custody arrangement, at least temporarily.

You leave the nest, not the children

Perhaps you know about bird-nesting from articles written about celebrities and other high-profile individuals. In an era of "unconscious coupling" and shared vacations well after the divorce, it shouldn't surprise you that people would be willing to let their children remain in the home while the parents rotate in and out on a predetermined schedule.

Some experts say that this does provide some relief for the children as they attempt to adjust to their new circumstances. The theory revolves around the fact that the parents made the choice to change the family dynamic, so they should move back and forth between homes instead of the children. In addition, the kids get to stay in their rooms with their stuff, stay near their friends and remain in the same school.

Even if you can't afford to cover three living spaces on the same financial resources as during the marriage, that does not mean you cannot use this custody arrangement. You could just get one other abode that the two of you can share. Only one of you would be in it at a time, and it might save on some expenses until you figure out a more permanent arrangement.

Will you do this temporarily or permanently?

Many sources say this arrangement works well in the short term but isn't quite sustainable over the long haul. At some point, the children could get confused because they may think you and the other parent will get back together. Moreover, what do the two of you do if one of you finds someone else?

During the divorce proceedings and during the first few months thereafter, this arrangement could give everyone some breathing room and time to get used to the way the family works now. After an initial period of adjustment, you may need to make some changes. You may want to account for that in your parenting plan.